What took us so long to decide on wanting to have another baby?

I can't say that we will have a huge gap between number 2 and number 3 (if it happens for us), but with us facing over a 4 1/2 year + gap it is not an average gap - it is about 18mths more than ideal, but very few people really get a choice in an age gap - and really what is the perfect gap? If you ask my mum she would say 17 -18mths-  which is great if you can plan it, but it is almost too close for me. Hayley and Charlie are 27mths apart, well nearly anyway and I love the gap between them, Hayley was well and truly walking, out of the pram most of the time, could have been toilet trained and was 6mths later.....I think it is a great gap now, but when Charlie was a newborn and Hayley was going through "the terrible 2's" it was really hard....Hayley was a delayed talker as well so it made the terrible 2's that much harder. My only main concern about a bigger age gap is that the baby would be a little like an only child with developments as they grow older.......however I am very in touch with friends with babies, so play dates would be frequent. I can't choose the age gap, I have decided that if we are not pregnant by the end of the month though - that will be it - no babies, but if it happens for it, I am hardly going to complain. I have been through heartbreak to get here and our older two will love and protect it regardless.....oh and maybe baby it.
Back to the question and answer - I have obviously had a journey through depression, I found two kids relatively close quite hard to adjust to and give them the attention they needed when I was working and trying to establish a business -money wasn't great either - we then decided on a sea change and at about the same time decided to think about have another baby. I don't go through easy pregnancies - I end up a insulin dependent gestation diabetic-- which in turn means lots of medical appointments to monitor me and bub, it means expense -insulin is not cheap, it means a bigger baby and usually induction at 38weeks. With my first two kids it also meant 18wks of morning sickness.....and YES that would be enough to turn you off having any more for a while. I can handle the gestational diabetes - it does scare me when I am read the statistics of how many women develop type 2 diabetes later in life because of it - but I am trying to fight that with my current weight loss journey.....my kids are also at risk of type 2 which is lifestyle affected. Having a sister with type 1 diabetes means I see how it affects someone to live with the disease 24/7 for life.....I only have to deal with it for 9mths.